My Immortal Nights At Freddy's
by The Aussie Parable
Summary: A parody fic about FNAF born from a dumb idea on FNAFAppreciation (on Tumblr), written by Mod Freddy. This is the story of Mike M. Schmidt and his friends and enemies, and nothing less.
1. Chpt 1

AN: I AM A SERIOUS WRITER, I SWEAR. ASLO FNAF ROX (If you haven't played it yet get tha fack outta here and play)! PS Self inserts. –Freddy

Hi my name is Mike Motherfucking Schmidt and I am a fucking douche (that's how I got my name) and I have really special eyes that no one can see because I am so cool and wear sHades ALL the time. I am really pale and wear TONS of make up (I'm goth so it's ok) and a lot of people tell me I look really hot and tbh I agree. I am as hot as the fiery pits of hell where my lord Satan resides.

I have medium-length jet black hair with firetruck streaks in it.

As for my clothses, I wear only real goth stuff that I got at Hot Topic. For example today I was wearing a security guard cap, a black leather jacket (I had an ebony shirt under it), dark taupe combat boots and a pair of ripped onyx jeans.

Also did I tell you that I go to Pizza High School and work as a night guard in a nearby pizzeria, because I go to Pizza High School and work as a night guard in a nearby pizzeria.

Pizza High is a pretty messed up place – not only do people go there, but so do animatronics.

Speaking of animetronics...

– "Hey Mike," screeched someone at me. I looked up and I saw... Foxy.

– "Oh, uhm, hi, Foxy," I answered all sexy and stuff.

– "Yeah hi, what's up," he asked smiling (is that even possible?).

– "Nothing," I said, but in that moment the bell rang and we had to go to classes.


	2. Chpt 2

AN: Sorry for not updating earlier but I had some tests to study for so yeah. Fangs for da reviews and pls enjoy da chapta.

The next day I woke up in my room. That fact was not at all shocking, but I thought I would mention it anyway.

When I looked outside the window I saw there was some heavy sleet going on outsid. Nice. That meant I could go on about my gothic routine without having to deal with sun. I hate sun, you know. It's so fucking preppy.

It was still very early so I decided to make breakfeast. (AN: I have no idea wat a goffic breakfast could consist of so just imagine that I do and that I wrote a long and unneccessaryy description of it here.)

"So... Are you and Foxy... Ehh, are you two an item now?" said someone from behind me, scaring me shitless. It was... Jeremy Fitzgerald, my sarcastic hipster roommate. He was a short guy, shorter than me, even though he was three years older. He had short blonde hair and one purple eye, one grey. He was wearing that ridiculous vest of his, and that disgusting bowtie. He had no sense of style, that poor bnastard. And the T shirt he ew as wearing under the vest was at least a size too big. He was also wearing shorts and those ugly sneakers of his, which for Hell only knows what reason were always in two different colours. One was always tangerine orange, the other was always lime green. Disgust.

I on the other hand was wearing my security guard cap (I _never_ take it off), a black MCR shirt, a pair of coal-coloured jeans and really dark red boots.

"The hell, dude? We talked for less than a minute and you already think we're dating? No, of course we're not." I answered him, trying to snound offended.

"You talked for less than a minute _yesterday_. What about two days ago? What about Friday? What about every single other time?" Jeremy didn't give up. He never gave up. At least not me. "Other than that, do you really think no one has noticed the way you're trying to do everything in that so called sexy way whenever he's around? You two are totally dating."

"G—Satan damn u, yes, we're dating. What's that to you?"

"Nothing. But it's incredibly amusing to see you defend yourself like this." He laughed and left our house. Only to come back a few seconds later to inform me that if I won't hurry up, I'm gonna be latwe for school. Then he left again.

I took the plate of my unifished breakfast and my goffic bag and went to school.


End file.
